lordy, but what do you say when they lay this on you..

[Mikey P]

First time customer today.

Dad is in the middle of giving us the tour when he opens up and shares this..


[h=2]neral information[/h]

Home: La Selva Beach, CA	Place of Birth: Sacramento, CA
Date of Death: July 11, 2013	Birthdate: December 14, 2001
	Age: 11

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Mass Service: Saturday, July 20, 2013 10:00 AM Resurrection Church, Aptos, CA
Visitation: Friday, July 19, 2013 at Benito & Azzaro Pacific Gardens Chapel, Santa Cruz, CA



[h=2]Biography[/h]
Lily Gail Jacob died Thursday, July 11, 2013. She was 11 years old. Lily unexpectedly passed in less than one day after the entire family was suffering food poisoning while vacationing in Costa Rica. Lily is survived by her parents Sargon Jacob and Juliana Touney Jacob, sisters Summer and Ashley Jacob, maternal grandmother Winifred Touney, fraternal grandparents Martin and Gail Jacob, and 11 uncles, 8 aunts and 30 cousins. She was born in Sacramento, CA on December 14, 2001. At the time of her death she was living in La Selva Beach, CA and attended Valencia and Rio del Mar schools.

Lily was a very bright and happy girl who loved spending time with her family, music, playing the piano, baking, knitting, singing, swimming, reading, and soccer. She was a joyful and active girl. She was an exceptional student and had planned to attend Stanford University when she grew up. Lily had so much pride in herself and tried hard in all that she did. Lily was very grown up and wise for her age, and was an eager and able helper at school and at home. She was a faithful friend and nurturing sister. She had an infectious laugh, a smile and big hug for all. One of the ways she was unique was her many personal relationships with adults (many have told me this). The size of her heart was immeasurable. She was never afraid to stand up for what was right and support those that needed a voice. She was just starting her pathway into becoming a beautiful young woman, with an uncommon amount of both grace and humility. She will be sorely missed by everyone who knew her but especially her two younger sisters and parents. Lily was the best daughter anyone could have dreamed of having and we are thankful to God to have been blessed by her presence for 11 years.

We will never understand this, but take solace in her lack of suffering. She was short changed in time, but the time she had was full. We will miss her always.

A visitation will be held for Lily on Friday, July 19th, 2013 at Benito & Azzaro Pacific Gardens Chapel, 1050 Cayuga St. in Santa Cruz from 6-8pm. The Funeral Mass will be on Saturday,July 20th at Resurrection Church, 7600 Soquel Dr. in Aptos beginning at 10 am. A Reception will be held after the funeral, at 12:30 pm, at Seascape Resort, 1 Seascape Resort Dr. in Aptos.

Donations can be made to The Lily Gail Jacob Education Fund C/O Assyrian Foundation of America, PO Box 2660 Berkeley, CA 94702 or visit the website, www.assyrianfoundation.org

Dad was upbeat and willing to share and answer questions at a surprisingly cheerful pace. When Mom and the kids finally showed up the sadness filled t he house instantly.



I may have mentioned it before but I've only been to one funeral before, lucky me, and I have almost zero experience dealing with death.



What would you all have said, done or otherwise?

Discount offered? Flowers sent? hugs offered.... shit I don't know....it was brutal.

 

[randy]

I know what you mean when you say "sadness filled the house". I once did a few crime scene clean-ups. Mostly suicides, many young people. Incredibly horrible work for so many reasons. Often I found myself praying for these folks the whole time we were there taking care of things. Even before I really even believed in prayer, it was just automatic and natural. Like its build into us from the start and just needs certain circumstances to manifest. All you can do for people going through such loss is pray for them. Show compassion, comfort where you can and love them. Sooner or latter we all experience heartbreak and loss. That's when we need compassion and develop it for others. Painful process but quite natural.

 

[Studebaker]

At this point, they are not looking for a response. Just LISTEN!

 

[Charlie Lyman]

I had a regular customer call and schedule a couple of days out. Turned on the news the next day and saw her husbands motorcycle laying down. He was killed instantly. She still wanted me to come because now family was going to be there. Lots of hugs and let her talk. I just listened.


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[Mikey P]

At this point, they are not looking for a response. Just LISTEN!

I know Keith.

But


You know me...

 

[Goomer]

Discount and flowers to the Chapel................All the Yenta's are always sure to investigate and make note of who exactly sent flowers and who didn't.

Very sad, yet good exposure none the less.

 

[SamIam]

I have had a few like these, A lady at church was on her way home with her husband.

He was driving 1/4 mile from their house pulled out in front of a car going 50 mph He was killed instantly.

She was in the hospital for 3 weeks, I got a text the night before the memorial service she wanted a few areas cleaned.

She called a competitor the day before he never showed up. Once I realized who she was I got her in and cleaned at no charge.

She was crying the whole job, I really didn't say anything just a hug and knocked it out and tried not to create any problems just solutions.

I really think she went with a competitor originally because its harder seeing people You know.

People tend to trivialize or say stupid things like "how are You".

All I could say was God bless you going out the door, And we love You guys.

All I can say is a quite gentle spirit goes along way.

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[Mikey P]

life...


I got a customer who I first worked for with Coit back in 1988. She was pregnant with her first child.

We hit it off and the next time I was out I carefully cleaned around the sleeping baby in her crib.
For the next 12 or so years I came out twice a year and as the young girl crew the crayola drawings of Mike and his suckmop, the hugs, the cookies and the charm got better and better. A brother came along and all was well with the perfect little family.
I also cleaned for her mom and dad a few blocks over as well as the family physician/friend.

At thirteen her Dad went for his daily long distance run and never came home.

Dropped dead from a massive heart attack


He had a insurance heath check up the week prior with no sight of anything wrong.

We continued to come out twice a year to clean but lordy the sadness filled THAT house.





A few years later Mom remarried, to the physician and they all moved to a new house a mile away.. I was invited to the wedding by her, mom could not refuse. The guests got quite the kick out of their carpet cleaner being there...

The Daughter is now away at college in Boston. Beautiful as can be and smart as a whip.


She still gives me a $50 like I'm a Coit chimp, although they usually have me out when they're on vacation now..



I wonder whats next.

 

[Mikey P]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmlhDePSP1A

 

[Bruno Fissori]

Very tough situation no matter how many times (if ever) you have been through it.

A little over 40% of my clients were seniors and I lost several of them over the years. The best advice has already been given, listen and hug. Those seem to be the things that mean the most at that moment and later on.

 

[FB19087]

r Dad went for his daily long distance run and never came home.

Dropped dead from a massive heart attack. He had a insurance heath check up the week prior with no sight of anything wrong.

...........................................................................

A few years later Mom remarried, to the physician and they all moved to a new house a mile away..

somebody should have looked into that

 

[Mikey P]

That's fvcked up.

 

[FB19087]

I completely agree or I wouldn't have said somebody should have looked into it..........

 

[GCCLee]

And it started out so sincere and humble.

Dang guys : )

 

[Jim Martin]

Really not to much you can say...as up beat as the father may have sounded..it still ( understandably )..weighs heavy on him to talk about it with total strangers.....

after about 3 months...not real sure if there is still a donation set up and flowers at this point are nice but don't serve a purpose....

I would of just completed everything that they wanted done and put a big " no charge " across the front of the invoice and just told them how sorry you are to here about there daughter and there will be no charge for your service...

I have done this 3 different times.....people have more important things to worry about when things like this happen...........

 

[Mark Saiger]

Just had a call Monday night from the family of one of my good customers who was well loved in the community. His family is very well known for all they have done giving to great causes and building projects in our community. He had passed away, but many days earlier. Sad part, no one had checked on him for some reason. It had been days. I don't do much on trauma clean up these days, but I told the family I would be there early in the morning and we would have the house ready for guests yet that evening.

The dog had also been in the home for days and had urine and feces all over in one room and hall. We had to tear out carpet and pad and do other clean up.

The house keeper had found him. He was such a hoot every time we cleaned for him. We had just been there on July 7th.

The thing I found was the family was so thankful that we were able to take care of the entire situation while they dealt with the other important things going on. Just being of service for what we specialize in (cleaning) and being there to listen (and even shed a tear with the great memories) was such a relief to them.

I have been fortunate (and unfortunate) to be called during many different family tragic events. Having been a high school band director in this small community for so many years, I have known so many young and old family members that have passed away. I have found they just appreciate you being there.

You did well Mikey and it is still never easy! Just to even see a young person having passed early is hard for me and my family. Just the "old" teacher in me.

I have had students die young from heart situations and accidents in my career. I even had a young man with a heart condition briefly make it to the side lines during a marching band competition, pass out and his heart quit while in my arms. He had a pace maker that I did not know about. The pace maker brought him back to life in my arms. When he came conscious again, he politely asked "Mr. Saiger, can you take the grass out of my mouth?" He had passed out briefly on the football field grass before I could get him. This took place in front of thousands of people while my marching band kept performing, but everyone on of those 175 students performing on the field could see, and just about quit to come running to his aid. It was a tough situation.

A few years later, he did pass away from his heart condition at a very young age while mountain biking in the mountains. Was a real bad day when I got that news and brought back a lot of memories of what a great young man he was.

The passing of this great client this week has sure brought back a lot of memories of people I have been blessed with their presence, but still so sad not be able to just call them or say "Hi" in passing again.

Wow this thread sure brought back a lot of memories I had forgot about for sometime......

Mark Saiger

 

[Jim Pemberton]

Mike you also go home and tell Paula how much you love her, tell your daughter that too...and even though Davis will cringe, you tell him too.

They, or you, could also be gone in a moment...few of those we love or have loved knew their final moment was going to be on that day.

 

[Brian H]

They, or you, could also be gone in a moment...few of those we love or have loved knew their final moment was going to be on that day.

Brother, don't I know it!!

That was a very sad story Mike. Stories of young people dying way too early always get me chocked up....

 

[Royal Man]

The one that choked me up the most was a client that just lost their daughter. While I was there they were looking through her school binders at the dining room table to find poems she had wrote to use at her funeral. They looked like my own's daughters school binders that were also full of random poems that was the same age. Hard to hold back the tears on that one. It's getting to me just posting this.

 

[GCCLee]

All deep stuff. Reality is when it slaps you in the face sometimes.
Thanks to each and everyone of you who went back and relived those moments to share with us.

Was called to an apt back a few years ago. When the Mgr called She said a foul odor so I kindly replied, it's not a dead guy is it : (
To my amazement it turned out to be.
Seven ( 7 ) days and the poor fella did not explode. He was a big un by nature, but man after 7 days this guy was beeeloooaated!
I was smart enough not to just barge on in do to the nature of an investigation like this, so it was the normal pounding on the door and being generally noisy as I poked only my right eye in through the door, then it hit me! That smell of Death. So I shut the door and contacted the Police.
The guy had one relative up north that came down, gave all his stuff away (smelling like Dead Guy) to the neighbors, some went to the landfill then went back home..

I hope and pray for all of us a better ending.

 

[rwcarpet]

somebody should have looked into that

I gotta second that one, Fred!

 

[rwcarpet]

I've had just the opposite happen to me. My Daughter died in an auto accident, and my Son In Law had to call and cancel all the bookings I had scheduled.....it was the pre-holiday rush. This was just before Christmas, Dec 17, 2002, and he had to explain what had happened. (It's a blessing that he was a great speaker, talker, and listener). Being a PE, he had experience "smoozing" with potential custys of his own. I've had many custys and friends still ask about the accident, and I share with them if they want to hear it. If not, I don't mention it. You just have to listen with humility, and express your sorrow.

It saddens me every time I hear of a child or young adult pass away. I vividly remember my experience. I also am concerned at the many deaths of people around my age, co-workers, neighbors, friends, family.

 

[Dmreed4311]

My kids are my world and I really do not know how I would ever go on if something like that happened to my family.
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[Desk Jockey]

I've had just the opposite happen to me. My Daughter died in an auto accident, and my Son In Law had to call and cancel all the bookings I had scheduled.....it was the pre-holiday rush. This was just before Christmas, Dec 17, 2002, and he had to explain what had happened. (It's a blessing that he was a great speaker, talker, and listener). Being a PE, he had experience "smoozing" with potential custys of his own. I've had many custys and friends still ask about the accident, and I share with them if they want to hear it. If not, I don't mention it. You just have to listen with humility, and express your sorrow.

It saddens me every time I hear of a child or young adult pass away. I vividly remember my experience. I also am concerned at the many deaths of people around my age, co-workers, neighbors, friends, family.

I always feel so bad for you Robert and every time I hear of someone child in an accident you come to mind. It has to be so awful to lose one of your children, I feel bad for your loss. I miss my father but at least he lived 83-good years, she was 22?

 

[rwcarpet]

I always feel so bad for you Robert and every time I hear of someone child in an accident you come to mind. It has to be so awful to lose one of your children, I feel bad for your loss. I miss my father but at least he lived 83-good years, she was 22?

Yep, Doc....23 years old. It wasn't so hard with my Dad .....he made it to 85 and was only sick for a few months before passing. My Mom made it to 85, but was in dementia care for 5 or so years. She was happy and healthy, but a little confused. Her diabetes got the best of her. They lived a long a good life. It a lot tougher when it's a child, or young adult, especially if they still are living in your home. Danielle's bedroom is still the same as the day she died.

 

[Lee Stockwell]

Vinny Annunziato likewise lost a beautiful daughter in a crash. I think of both when my kids are on the road.

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