things you hear that send up red flags

Spurlington · Feb 27, 2014

How about when the customer believes if you get the pee smell out, the dog will stop ..

I want the pee smell gone .. (on a newer carpet) I dont want the dog to think its ok to go .. Im thinking, well the carpet didnt come with pee so whether I get the smell out or not, the dog will pee just as he did in the first place ..

Brian H · Feb 27, 2014

Spurlington said:
How about when the customer believes if you get the pee smell out, the dog will stop ..

I want the pee smell gone .. (on a newer carpet) I dont want the dog to think its ok to go .. Im thinking, well the carpet didnt come with pee so whether I get the smell out or not, the dog will pee just as he did in the first place ..

Good one!!! I have heard the customer side of that many times before, and I LOVE your reply!! :clap:

Brian H · Feb 27, 2014

Oh boy, I could fill a whole book with stories!!!

"What happens if you mess something up, are you insured?"

"I am a really good customer, I use you at least twice a year" - one $50.00 job in the last 10 years.

"I know my 30 year old water stained sofa won't look much different, just do the best you can."

"I never call to complain but...."

"I am a church going woman..." usually means everything she says after that will be a lie.

"Can I book my cleaning and reclean right now?"

"Those can't be urine stains on my carpet because my Fifi never pees in the house." As the dog is actually peeing at that moment right in front of them.

"Don't worry about not moving the sofa, I'll let my wife know I told you not to move it." The wife calls in a few hours later when she gets home to say her husband told the crew to move the sofa and they told him we don't do that.

" Can you stop by my daughter's house? It's just around the corner"

"Tell the crew I am only 5 minutes away. Tell the crew I am just pulling into the subdivision right now. Tell the crew I am on my street."

" Can you get the crew to come back? I missed them by about 2 minutes." The same customer as above calling 45 minutes after the crew had left.

"I am bring some rugs in to your plant and will be there right at your closing time. Can you wait if I am a minute late?" She shows up 30 minutes late, after we turned off the lights, locked the doors and were walking to our cars.

Zee · Feb 27, 2014

This thread is great! It'd be even better if we all posted our immediate on the spot responses so we could learn from each other.

I think over the past 15 years I heard pretty much all those written above but still amuses me..all those promises from prop managers and real estate agents..

And those "we just need a quick once over to get rid of the cigarette smell.." (everything was yellow from floor to ceiling from the Incredible smoke damage)

"you do clean under the beds right?" (842pounds of stuff piled 8 feet high on the bed)

"my previous carpet guy got it done for less than half..."

"you HAVE to park in our garage because we are not leaving the door open and the front door needs to be closed too"

On the phone: "you need to come back to clean up the dog accidents all over the house...since you were just here last week" (for free they wanted)

My favorite was after the walk thru and giving my price: "we are not going to get the carpets cleaned but since you are here, how would you like to drive a free BMW?" As they proceed to try to get me on an MLM bs. (thanks for wasting my time)

Spurlington · Feb 27, 2014

Heres one I love and cant believe I forgot to mention:

(Me) "Are you aware of the benefits of a protective coating?" (cust) "Oh, we dont eat or drink in here." "And we dont wear our shoes in the house." (I must be from another country cause the things on her feet looked like shoes to me) ..

and as Im looking around .. mystery spills everywhere .. dirty ass carpet .. Id love to have said, " Oh you probably dont walk in there either." "Carpets just mysteriously soiled themselves."

Hoody · Feb 27, 2014

"OH! I already squirted the spots for you."

"Do you match competitor's coupons?"

"Can I write you a post dated check?"

"Have you ever been convicted of a crime?"

"Do you accept any non-traditional forms of payment"

Bjorn · Feb 27, 2014

Ok here is your check OH one more thing before I go my 16 year old daughter is up stairs in the shower getting ready for school.

Charlie Lyman · Feb 27, 2014

I just got home from this job:
I have to leave, but I'll pick up my daughters room real quick.

Sent from my motorola flip phone using Crapatalk 1.1

jcooper · Feb 27, 2014

Looooooooool!

Can you clean under the bed real quick?

rwcarpet · Feb 28, 2014

My pets have NEVER pee'd on the carpet! NEVER! They're trained.

My response ...."If you have a pet, you have pet stains somewhere on the carpet." Pet's have accidents.

Spurlington · Feb 28, 2014

rwcarpet said:
My pets have NEVER pee'd on the carpet! NEVER! They're trained.

My response ...."If you have a pet, you have pet stains somewhere on the carpet." Pet's have accidents.

Unless it was Gramma !!!

FredC · Feb 28, 2014

View attachment 4092

Spurlington · Mar 2, 2014

View attachment 4102

I think a pack of matches aughta clean this up !!

Vivers · Mar 23, 2014

I'm a realtor and I can get you lots of jobs

Jim Williams · Mar 25, 2014

"You work by Yourself?" = I want every piece of furniture moved and I have tons of it.
"Can You just spot clean this room real quick?"= I want the traffic lanes done free in this room.
"Can You hit the arms of this couch and the cushions real quick?"= I want a cheap sofa cleaning.
"I have a new debit card coming in 2 days, can I call You with the numbers?"= I'm broke.

Mark Saiger · Mar 25, 2014

Jim Martin said:
the painters and house cleaning will have everything done and out of your way......

Yea right.....I have yet to ever see that happen...........

That would fit one of yesterdays call.

Left the guys to clear all the crap. Gave the painter a pair of booties and told him to wear them.

Mark Saiger · Mar 25, 2014

GreenTechAgain said:
It's a small sectional.

From PM's, "the water and electric is DEFINITELY on"

And again one of yesterdays calls...Lol

Mark Saiger · Mar 25, 2014

And again from yesterday....

I'm disabled....do you have a payment plan?

OR the last one of the day (after hours)

I have just a little sewer water to suck up....do you have anyone available? City says they will pay for it ( no sir, we are not doing sewer restoration anymore) and under my breath...FOR FREE! Maybe the city wants to start with paying last years bill they hired us on and only paid for half of . Even the city told us to bill the remainder to their insurance company (homeowners now have to try and get the money from the city in court)

I went and had dinner with my wife instead....

Jim Martin · Mar 25, 2014

Tia got a call yesterday...the lady wanting to know how many guys are on the truck because she has large king size beds and china cabinets that she wants moved...

Sorry...I do not move beds and heavy things like china cabinets...and if that's a deal killer then by all means find someone else........

rhyde · Mar 25, 2014

Jim Martin said:
" I will meet you there in 10 minutes "

Until I got into carpet cleaning...I never knew that it was code for...I will see you in about an hour...

Give us a call when you get there we are only 2 minutes away. :icon_cool:

The "lady" in the office said you would move our hide-A-Bed to the basement.

We need it cleaned today can you be here in a half hour!

I'm really busy can you clean it Saturday evening

I need someone to get this ink spot out I've already worked on it is there a discount for that and do you guarantee your work?

Sorry, I know you packed up all your equipment and are just about to leave but we changed our mind and would like you to
clean the traffic areas in the small guest room on the 3rd floor at the back of the house.

Desk Jockey · Mar 25, 2014

"I am bring some rugs in to your plant and will be there right at your closing time. Can you wait if I am a minute late?" She shows up 30 minutes late, after we turned off the lights, locked the doors and were walking to our cars.

I'm sorry, "they' waited for someone running a few minutes after closing but left after 20-minutes. I wish we had the keys but "they" have them. We do open at 8:00 AM tomorrow if that helps?

Then get her info and take the rugs, tell her you'll look to see if you can find anyone else still left in the back to open up. :twisted:

Brian H · Mar 25, 2014

From some interviews...

Me: "Why did you leave your last job?"

Interviewee: "I assaulted my boss."

Me: :eekk:

**************************************************************************************

Me: " I see a gap of 3 years in your employment, what's that all about?"

Interviewee: " I was in prison for rape"

Me: :eekk:

*********************************************************************************

Me: "Tell me about your work history"

Interviewee: " I have done just about everything. There are several places I have worked in the last few years. The application wasn't long enough for me to list all of them."

Me: :eekk:

Desk Jockey · Mar 25, 2014

Me: " I see a gap of 3 years in your employment, what's that all about?"

Interviewee: " I was in prison for rape"

Me:

Is being raped in prison any better? :errf:

So Brian what did you start their pay at? :eekk:

GCCLee · Mar 25, 2014

Doc Holliday said:
Is being raped in prison any better?

WHY would you even ask that, my gawd u cray kanned mexican, lol

Sent from da parking garage of dee detention center

Desk Jockey · Mar 25, 2014

ruff · Mar 25, 2014

"Chavez restoration said they'll do it for less."

Desk Jockey · Mar 25, 2014

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ryankettering · Mar 25, 2014

"I have a few properties in the area and know a bunch of people.. if you give me a good price on this job I will have a bunch of more work for you."

Jim Martin · Mar 25, 2014

Don't worry about him........he will just run and hide some where....

and she was correct........he was either still running or he found a damn good hiding spot because we never found him..........

sweendogg · Mar 25, 2014

Guy called today: Can he come today?
Office: No sir we are full for today.
He calls again when I get back to dump.
Office hands me phone and says he has questions and wants to schedule for Thursday.

I pick up phone: Hi this David Sweeney........silence........
10 seconds later ..... hello?
Guy: I'm still here.

Me: Sorry sir, you had some questions?

Guy: No I wanted to schedule for Thursday.

Me: Ok sir can I have your address and contact info? ...silience.. then starts asking questions with no contact info...

Guy: Do you guys charge for prepray, and do whats your mimimum?

I answer questions and explain we prevac, prespot, clean and include Scotchgard one price yadda yadda yadda

He says Its only two rooms..

I say should be able to do by minimum unless he has any severe pet stains/odors or severe spotting.

Guy then goes on to lecture me that I must use an enzymatic digester and that he was IICRC certifed in 100 200 and 300 levels and that he's cleaned it many times before (BIG RED FLAGS) (I should have asked for his card number!)

I say ok well how about some contact info and address...... he won't give me a last name... finally get last name after explaining we will not schedule with out a full contact info. Then he says its up on the third floor and he has run hoses up there no problem, straight drop to ground... and he starts saying he could do it in a few minutes... (while slurring words and acting indignant that he was even talking to me). (Sounds to me like the guy thinks he is going to higher a company to use their equipment and then refuse to pay) After asking more questions and not getting some straight answers out of the guy.. I tell him I don't believe we are the cleaning company for him and said good bye. :shifty:

Had to be the wierdest convo I've taken with a customer for cleaning/ install or really anything.

things you hear that send up red flags

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